Not quite there...

I feel like the past three months have been FILLED with lessons. Lessons about myself, lessons about other people, but mostly ways I need to grow.

Do you ever pray for something, but you're kind of half praying for it because you know that if God says "yes", it's going to just totally kick your butt? Like, you pray for God to reveal ways to grow, but then once He does, you actually have to do something about it??? That's how I feel. I prayed for God to help me learn to embrace myself and the person He created me to be. I prayed that He would show me any facet of myself that I hide in order to look better or to fit in....and He did. So now it's up to me to work on it. Ughhh...

I need to stop worrying about what other people think. I need to stop comparing myself to other people. I heard someone say once that comparison is the thief of joy. How true is that??? We were all happy with ourselves until someone told us that Jane was prettier than we were or that Sarah was more athletic. That I couldn't sing like Rachel or wasn't as funny as Steven. But God made us all so perfect. In Psalm 139, it says that our days were ordained by God. Which is kind of the coolest concept ever. But then, if God ordained our days and if God created us, wouldn't He have made us perfectly for those days? Wouldn't He have given us the exact tools we need in order to offer Him our best service?

It seems like such an easy concept. But it's hard to get myself there...to fully love myself just as God created me. I wish I did but I'm not quite there yet. Still praying, still growing, still learning. Trying to eliminate the negative voices that tell me I'm not good enough, and replace them with God's whispers of love. Always a process.

P.S. 26 days until London. Yesssss.