Checked Out

I am a little frustrated at how inconsistent I’ve been with this blog since I came to school. I suppose it’s only natural…I have started school which adds hours upon hours of classes and homework. And I got my Alpha group and have been hanging out with them! So much fun. J But I still wish I had more time for this. To just write and get my thoughts out. For me, writing is just as essential as sleeping or eating. I crave it.

I’ve been feeling pretty checked out lately. I haven’t felt well rested since beginning of August probably. And there have just been so many things happening in the past month that I needed to be mentally & emotionally present for, and now that all of that is dwindling down, I find myself just kind of going through the motions. Going to class and not fully engaging or even conversations with friends...I don’t know what it is but I feel like I have nothing left to give. I have poured myself out to so many different places and I am just in a place of desperation for the Lord to refill me.

My life has been good though. Lots of fun, exciting things. I am absolutely in love with my Alpha group. I have 4 girls and 1 boy, which is funny since we’re supposed to have 10-12 students. It’s also funny because it is so typical of APU’s guy/girl ratio. J But it’s been just a joy to see all of their personalities light up. And they all get along with each other so well, which is something I really prayed for. Thank you, Lord. We’re having our first official meeting next week and I’m planning on sharing my life story with them...I’m a little nervous but I think it will be a good way to just put myself on the same level as them: a complete sinner who has no idea what they’re doing. Just trying to please Jesus and enjoy living throughout the day.

For anyone who actually reads this, if you get a chance or remember, please pray for wisdom and the ability to just really hear God’s voice. There’s so much going on right now and I just feel like I’m too bombarded to process any of it. Like I said, completely checked out.

This verse gives me comfort though. Maybe, if you need it, it will give you some as well…

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.” –Psalm 68:19-20