I feel like I've had one of those weeks. Or maybe even months. Not to be dramatic but I really do just feel exhausted from everything. Each morning, I wake up feeling a little better, but by the end of the night, I'm right back where I started, if not deeper in the hole.
This probably isn't making any sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of being sad.
It's been like this pile of bricks dragging behind me, keeping me from fully engaging in anything and eating away at my heart. I'm not a sad person. I'm just not. But lately, I have been and I don't like it.
A friend emailed me recently and told me she was praying that God would saturate me with a joy so heavenly people would think I was crazy. I think I'm going to start making that my prayer. I have felt so close to the Lord lately. Closer than I have in years. But there still is that gnawing loneliness. This deep sense that something is missing. Something that is precious to me. And that feeling will slowly chip away my joy. I'm going to start praying for joy. For a crazy joy that no one can understand. Not even me.
In lighter news, I just watched the movie "Julie & Julia." I think I would really, really love to do something like that. To cook through someone's cookbook and blog about it. I mean, obviously I can't do that because it's already been done. But I would love to do something similar. Any ideas??? :)
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