Sunday, March 28, 2010

A Unique Feeling

Man, I really don’t even know where to begin. It’s so hard to keep up on this blog because I barely even have time to sleep and shower (seriously, it’s disgusting), so blogging doesn’t happen. But then when I finally do find time, I feel like I have a novel’s-worth to write about. I’ll do my best to summarize.

The last week at Ethembeni was amazing. God has done so much work at that place; it’s unreal. Most of the growth we saw this week was in the older staff. Our AMAZING teacher for our community engagement class, Francis, taught us all these games to play in order to break down walls and get conversations started. By the way, Francis is brilliant. He is the wisest man I have ever met and I feel so honored to get to learn under him. But anyways, we really committed time this week to playing these games with the staff and I can’t tell you how much they helped. On Tuesday, we played this River of Life game, and we have them draw the highs and lows of key moments in Mpophomeni’s history. It was so good to not only learn more about their history, but to get them talking. We asked them about what they think are the major problems in the township and their community and I was so excited when they started talking about how it’s a cycle. They realized that it is not just one problem they’re facing; it’s multiple ones that all affect each other. It starts with poverty, so they have no food and most of the girls depend on boyfriends to provide for them to eat. Because of that, the girls feel as though they have to in turn provide sex for them. There are not a lot of female rights here, so they have to do what they’re told. This leads to a lot of teenage pregnancy and sleeping around, which then leads to more HIV/AIDS. It’s just a huge cycle.

Something else they explained about the affects of apartheid was really interesting to me. They said that because the black community felt oppressed for so long, the teenagers are very rebellious and don’t listen to authority because they focus so much on “being free.” They have sex education but the kids see it more as a class then a reality. And the parents feel incompetent to be parents or enforce authority because they grew up in apartheid, which told them they weren’t capable. Everything is just so intertwined and feels hopeless to fix. But, I gave you a sneak peak…God changed my hopeless and defeated attitude and showed me His faithfulness through the rainbow on Wednesday. It was beautiful.

On Thursday, we had another conversation with the staff about community development. A blessing was that we got to have Francis with us for a bit that day, and he helped lead the discussion. Once again, hearing his wisdom just inspired me so much. Something that was interesting though was that we had the staff create a song explaining where they come from, where they are now, and where they want to be in the future. One of the lines in it was “Freedom is coming tomorrow.” Francis asked them if that was in regards to apartheid and wanting freedom back then, or if it’s relevant now. And Zwe, one of the guys on staff, said “Well, it’s both but mostly now. We have made changes since apartheid but we haven’t reach a point that I would say I’m free.” That was really sad for me because, although this country has made huge strides toward equality and freedom, there is still so much to be done.

I also got to do a home visit with a guy on my team, Rob, and two of the male social workers on staff. It was hilarious walking there because we had barely walked 10 feet when Zwe asked if I had a boyfriend and when I said no, he said he would find me a South African boyfriend. I told him that was my mother’s biggest fear. :) It was very funny being with the guys. Going to the home visit though was hard for me. The home we went to was the home of 4 boys from Ethembeni, and the oldest one was whom we mainly talked about. He is 13 years old, and his “gogo” (grandmother) said that she’s worried because he doesn’t come home on the weekends anymore, and she’s pretty sure that he is doing drugs. At 13 years old. And during this whole conversation, we were sitting in a house that was literally the size of my family room at home. It smelled absolutely awful and if I had to guess, I would honestly say there were about 200 flies filling the room. It just made me so sad. Once again, it just hit me that this is people’s reality. This is what they consider to be “home.” I don’t really even know what to say about it. It’s interesting because I have had friends travel to Uganda, Indonesia, Bangladesh, Honduras, etc and seen pictures of poverty like this. But being in it…sitting in those houses, hearing the grandmothers tell these stories with desperation and sadness in their voices, swatting flies out of my face every 5 seconds, smelling a mixture of moldy food and animal feces outside…it takes on a whole new meaning. There is no way to put that feeling into words. Feeling like you had no idea people actually lived like this, trying to understand that this is what they experience every day, realizing there isn’t really anything you can do to change their situation…it’s a unique feeling. One I’m still trying to process and understand. That night, I was praying and asking God to provide time. I have been so busy lately between homework, service sites, etc and have barely had time to write and process everything I’m seeing. I prayed for God to provide time to do that, and boy did He. He’s so good.

On Friday, instead of having all the kids come, the staff of Ethembeni did a retreat. It stuck me how different their retreat was than retreats in America. It was only for a few hours on one day, it’s held at the same place they work everyday because that’s the only place they could afford, it was put on by two women on staff since they can’t hire a speaker or someone to plan, it’s in a tent on their front yard…yet they were so thankful for all of it. We did worship in the morning, and then they announced we were going to have time to go be with ourselves and the Lord…complete answer to prayer from the night before. Then they had someone talk about forgiveness, which was really good. Something that kept hitting me during his talk was how resilient and faithful these people are. They experience more pain and suffering than I ever will; yet their faith is incredible. A verse the speaker brought up, which I thought was so relevant, was Genesis 50:20-21 which says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.”

Saturday, our whole group went to uShaka, which is a water park in Durban. It was so fun! I haven’t laughed that hard in SO long and it was a nice break from the heaviness of everything we’re experiencing at service sites. It also got me thinking…it was so refreshing for me, but the people at Ethembeni never get breaks. They are always working and always surrounded by hardship. This is their whole life; they can’t take a break from it. There are so many things about this experience that are just completely overwhelming, and I have no time to process any of it. I have a feeling that is what my entire summer will be about…processing.

Today was great though. I slept in until 8:30, which is the latest I’ve slept since I left the States. Then a group of 6 girls walked to a nearby café and went to breakfast! It was in the middle of this little garden and the food was INCREDIBLE. Again, it was just so refreshing and tranquil. I loved it. I finished my paper and am currently having a blast from the past, watching “Miss Congeniality” with some wonderful friends. :) It’s been a great weekend, and God has provided some much needed rest and peace.

Next week, we do the last 3 days of service sites and then I have my Zulu final! After that, we do our safari and Zulu experience! I can’t wait! Sorry for the sporadic posts…I have a feeling it may be this way for the rest of the trip. Miss you all!

With love from South Africa,

Alex

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