He has overcome.

Send me a sign
A hint, or whisper
Fill me with life
'Cause I am listening

Come break the quiet
Breathe your awakening
Bring me the light
'Cause I am fading

Surround me with the rush of angels' wings


Shine Your light so I can see You
Pull me up, I need to be near You
Hold me, I need to feel loved
Can You overcome this heart that's overcome?


You sent a sign
The hint, O whisper
Human, divine
Everyone is listening
Death laid low
Quiet in the night is stirring

All around the rush of angels
O the wonder of the greatest love has come

Shine Your light so all can see it
Lifted up, 'cause the whole world needs it
Love has come, what joy to hear it
He has overcome, He has overcome

The last month of my life was more overwhelming than any in my whole life. At least, as far as I can remember. And looking back, it's amazing how faithful God has been. In chapel this morning, the speaker was talking about how God loves someone who is at the end of their rope. Who has no where else to go and is face down, crying out for the Lord to help them. To bring wisdom to a situation. To overcome it all.

I can't remember many times that I have been face down before God. Maybe once before. But a couple weeks ago, I spent a good half hour on the ground, crying out to God and asking for guidance. Then again, just this weekend, I was face down before Him, crying out for forgiveness. It's unreal how willing He is to rush to the rescue. Even me being the imperfect sinner that I am, He's always there to help me climb back up that rope.

A Beauty Worth Pursuing

Okay, I'll confess...I'm a bit of a Facebook stalker. And I don't feel bad about this because EVERYONE is. Earlier tonight, I was looking through people's photos, which, by the way, 90% of the albums were called "Halloween 09". But I was looking at them and started to feel really disheartened. So many of the pictures were of people getting completely drunk, girls wearing these skimpy outfits that were barely even a costume. At least, I couldn't tell what they were.

And I'm really not trying to be judgmental with this. I hope it's not coming off that way. Because if anything, it's just really heart-breaking for me. There are all these gorgeous girls with wonderful personalities, and they're wasting it all for one night of "fun". I wish I could find every single girl in all of those pictures and tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her how much she is loved by a God who wants so much more for her.

I'm currently re-reading Captivating, a book by John and Stasi Eldredge, and they talk a lot about beauty. It's all over the first two chapters. One quote in particular I really liked is this: "Don't you recognize that a woman yearns to be seen, and to be thought of as captivating? We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we are."

It makes sense to me that girls will dress or act this way. Girls who feel a lacking of love or who have rarely been told they are beautiful or captivating or worth pursuing. It makes sense because I have been blessed with a loving family and group of friends, yet it's something I struggle with every day. I think every single woman in the world does. That desire to be beautiful. To know that someone thinks she is worthy. Every woman wants that; it's just how they choose to get it.

The past few months, I've really struggled with knowing that I'm beautiful. Knowing that I am worthy of being fought for. But the past couple weeks, I realized it's because I cannot find that worth in a guy or anything else; it can only be found in the Lord. The ultimate pursuer. The only knight in shining armor. He is our Savior and He is enthralled by our beauty.

It's tough to believe that sometimes. There are so many things and people in this world constantly telling us we aren't beautiful. But WE ARE. The creator of the universe, the maker of the oceans, waterfalls, forests, flowers, mountains, and butterflies is enthralled by how beautiful we are. That is good news.

And hopefully by the time Halloween 2010 comes around, more and more girls will have heard that message.

A Loss

I have to say, I'm at a loss for words. 

I've been avoiding this blog lately. Not knowing what to say, how I feel, what's going on in my heart...It's been a phase of trust. My lack of words though can be made up in verses that the Lord has used to dry my tears more than once. 

"My comfort in my suffering is this: your promise perseveres in my life." -Psalm 119:50

"O sovereign Lord, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant." -2 Samuel 7:28

"You did well to have this in your heart. Nevertheless..." 2 Chronicles 6:8

"Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near....Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." -James 5:7-8, 10-11

I've been praying these verses a lot. Actually, I've just been praying a lot in general. God knows the plans He has for us, and He is going to prosper us. Sometimes, it's just not the way we expect. 

Long week

It's been a long week, to say the least. These are the things getting me through it: 

1. Lots and lots of conversations with friends
2. A brand new journal, already 1/4 full
3. Jeremiah 29:11-13
4. Daniel Hahn's sermon on October 19
5. More honest and vulnerable prayer than I've ever experienced.
   

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." -Exodus 14:14

Amen.

We are the Daughters of the King

"Daughters of kings are among your honored women. Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear; Forget your people and your father's house. The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord."

-Psalm 45:9-11

Jesus, thank you for being enthralled by me. This very idea made me cry. 

God, you are such a loving and wonderful father. Thank you for the way you adore me. Thank you for looking at me the way you do. Help me to always remember that and to honor you in response to it. To honor you because you are worthy. You are so holy and worthy, God. So precious and kind to me. Praise you, Lord. Praise you forever. 

Help me to always remember this verse and to put it above anyone else's opinion. Above my people and my father's house. You are my Lord and I will listen to you alone. 

Love, 

Your Daughter

An Instrument of Peace

Man, I've really been lagging on this blog. Ever since I got back to APU, I feel like the writing facet of my life has just spiraled downhill. I blog like once a month and am always too exhausted to journal at the end of the day. Too many classes, too much homework, too many commitments. I wish I could just take a week off and go to Grand Lake and spend time with the Lord. Maybe this summer :)

It's been a pretty good week though. Tyler & I are going to Seattle in November!!!! That was probably the highlight of my week....buying those tickets. I honestly can't wait. Plus, I feel like it will give me a lot of direction in regards to transferring to SPU or not. I haven't been able to stop thinking about that school the past 2 years so I feel like I need to look at it again. So we're going up on a Thursday night, Friday will be spent visiting classes, meeting with counselors and professors, etc. And then Saturday & Sunday, I get to hang out with him in the city of Seattle! And Katie Hill and Megan are up there and I am absolutely THRILLED to see them both and hang out with them!! They came to APU a few weeks ago and it was a blast, so I can't wait for round 2! :)

Overall though, this week I've just felt happy. There was a lot of tension and conflict going on in my heart the past month and it was all finally resolved. I feel so free and just...I don't know...light, almost. Like a huge weight has been lifted and I'm able to just love my life again. It's really been wonderful. 

Also, I found this prayer the other day and wanted to share it with you. I thought it was very powerful. It's by St. Francis of Assisi

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, 

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love. 

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

What a beautiful day

Today was a great day. Here are the reasons why...

1. I got to go to Michaela's soccer game, which is just a lot of fun. 

2. Tyler came to pick me up from my house and drive me back to his house to do homework and I drove his car home!!! It's a stick shift and I had never driven it before, but I did and made it all the way back to his house without any problems. It was a total adrenaline rush. Hahaha. 

3. Then we did homework, which was lame but we had some good laughs along the way

4. Snapper Jacks for lunch. Delicious. 

5. Bike ride along the beach! It was honestly so fun. We rode from San Pedro to Emma Wood, taking a short ice cream break along the way :) Also, we sat and looked at the ocean when we got to Emma Wood and I set my hand down into freshly spit out gum....completely disgusting. But the bike ride was wonderful. It was such a beautiful day. Oh how I miss Ventura's perfect 70 degree whether. 

6. Came home, showered, and got dinner with Tyler and my parents. At Snappers. Yes, twice in one day. 

7. Then finished the day off just hanging out. We were going to watch a movie but Tyler got sleepy. :) 

It was a pretty great day. Relaxing and full of laughter