Hope

Exactly 3 weeks from today, I will be starting classes at SPU. I leave in 10 days to drive up there with my parents. After such a long summer, it seems almost surreal that it’s happening soon.

I’ve had a lot of people lately ask me if I’m getting nervous. And the thing is, I’m not at all. For such a long time, moving to Seattle has been so far off. It’s been almost five months of summer, just waiting for this day to come. And I thought, as it got closer, I would start to get nervous. But I’m really not.

I’m excited for this new season in my life. This summer has been a hard one. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been good things: I’ve had an amazing job with kids that I just love, I’ve had such sweet growth in the Lord and gotten to go to Reality consistently, which has been a huge blessing. But coming home from South Africa was difficult. There were so many things to deal with this summer that I honestly just felt inadequate to handle. There were many days that I felt overwhelmed and, as a result, shut down so I wouldn’t have to deal with it all.

But I absolutely cannot wait for this fresh start in my life. That’s how it feels. Going to a new school, living outside of California for the first time in my life, meeting all new people…it’s a brand new season. I feel a deep sense of hope. And I believe that hope is from the Lord. In July, I went up there to visit, and while I was there, I wrote this in my journal:

“I just feel so full of promise and hope here, which is such a blessing from you, Lord. For the past year, my life has felt so chaotic. And I’m thankful for that because it has brought me closer to you. I have gotten to know you in new ways that have changed my life and perspective. Thank you for that, Jesus. But it has been difficult, feeling like so many of my plans and dreams died. Which is another thing you’ve been teaching me…about putting my dreams in things of this world…but I really believe that the hope I feel here is from you. Because me being in Seattle is part of your plan, part of the plans you have to prosper me and give me a hope. Thank you Lord. Praise you for having plans and letting me feel something as sweet as hope.”

10 more days. And I’m hopeful for the sweet blessings God will give me when I’m up there.