The Wonderful Cross

I wrote this after church on Sunday:

I was floored by the message of the cross tonight.

To be painfully honest, this doesn’t happen often. At least, not as often as it should. Growing up in the church has created an immunity to the majesty of that selfless act, but tonight, it amazed me.

The pastor was talking about taking steps toward Christ, and how He wants disciples & followers, not just admirers. I want to be a disciple so badly. I feel like this past year has been a huge pursuit of that discipleship and the desire for it just seems to intensify every day.

We took communion afterwards and I was praising the Lord for His mercy. For His amazing love that would suffer on the cross in my place. And it just hit me: He was broken for my sin, punished for a crime He didn’t commit. He was mocked, ridiculed, rejected and abused.

Because. Of. Me.

Because of my sin and stubbornness. Because I too often choose to be only an admirer instead of a committed follower.

I once heard a pastor say, “Whenever you are hurt as a result of someone else’s sin, think of Christ.” He was hurt physically and emotionally because of us. Yet He willingly did it. Tonight, I started to think of the most painful things in my life (which still don’t equate to the cross, or even come close, but it’s all I’ve got) and wondering if I would willingly endure it again, fully knowing how painful it was, in order to save someone else. Ah. It’s a brutal question when you honestly try to answer it. Praise Jesus, He is making me into a more selfless person but that process is nowhere near complete and the selfish facet of my heart still seems to dominate most of my decisions.

The truth is, I’m a mess. And the only reason I can even have a shot at becoming a holy, committed disciple is because of the cross.

I was floored.

We ended the service singing “Oh the Wonderful Cross” and the words completely resonated with my heart. Resonated with the deep thankfulness and awe I felt tonight.

“Were the whole realm of nature mine

That were an offering far too small

Love so amazing, so divine

Demands my soul my life, my all

Oh the wonderful cross, oh the wonderful cross

Bids me come and die and find

That I may truly live.”