twenty ten

2010 was a big year of firsts and change for me. With South Africa consuming the first 4 months, there were so many once-in-a-lifetime experiences that forever changed me. A 5-month summer at home gave me time to process everything that happened, and also to fall more in love with Jesus. Then, one of my dreams since high school: moving to Seattle. It’s been an amazing journey. This whole year has been so sweetly orchestrated by Jesus.

January: This entire month was consumed with getting ready for South Africa! Lots of packing, organizing, and good-bye lunches. On the 21^st, we arrived in South Africa and spent the first few days in Johannesburg. Then we flew to Pietermaritzburg, where we spent the majority of our time in South Africa. It was such a whirlwind, trying to adjust and learning more about this new home.

February: We all continued to get settled and adjusted to South Africa. We visited different service sites, took a day trip to Durban and celebrated Valentines Day as a group. We also got to hike through the Drakensburg Mountains, which was absolutely beautiful. It was one of my favorite days of the whole semester. My isiZulu class met our pen pals and spent some time with them.

March: March started with my isiZulu class taking an overnight trip to Durban, which was absolutely hilarious. Right after, our whole group did the Battlefields Tour all around the KwaZulu Natal region. Even though it was pretty boring, we had so much fun with our tour guide Tony and just bonding more as a group. This month also holds all my memories of Ethembeni, the service site I worked at for 4 weeks. It’s such an impossible experience to describe, but was absolutely life-changing. I still think about those people all the time and still count our last day there as one of the best days of my life.

April: Wow. Looking back, there was so much packed into this month. It started with our “Zululand” experience, living in mud huts and taking showers under the stars. It was so wonderful…up until 20 of us got sick. We went from there to our 2-day safari, where I got to see so much of God’s creation. We came back to Pietermaritzburg for final goodbyes before doing a week-long road trip down to Cape Town, stopping in East London, Port Elizabeth, and George before reaching our destination. We immediately began our homestays in Oceanview, a community within Cape Town that was actually a reformed township. During this time, we were still taking classes, which included field trips to Robben Island (where they held Nelson Mandela) and climbing to the top of Table Mountain. We finished our homestays and then moved to a Bible Institute in Kalk Bay, and spent the remainder of our time there.

May: I said my final goodbyes to South Africa and flew home on the 6^th. The rest of May was pretty much filled with welcome home lunches and coffee dates, and LOTS of processing. I got to spend a lot of sweet time with Lauren Volpei and Katie Hahn, just talking through everything and trying to deal with re-entry. At the end of the month, Katie took me out for my 20^th birthday! We went down to LA for the day, walked through the Silver Lake market, did some shopping, and took a break at the Intelligentsia café. It was such a fun way to celebrate with her

June: June was very similar to May. Lots of fun time with friends and still readjusting to life after South Africa. The World Cup was going on during this month, which was so much fun (and also a little hard) to watch. I started doing a little Bible study/prayer group with two wonderful friends, which we continued all summer and it was so challenging and rich for my faith. This summer, I also got a job nannying for a family just down the street from me and it was so much fun. I just fell in love with those kids and had a blast playing with them for a few months. Not a bad summer job :)

July: Things got a little livelier in July. :) My family spent the 4^th at VC, which is always a fun place to go and see old friends. I got to spend the next weekend up in Seattle! It was a much needed break, to just get away from normal life for a bit. I got some furniture for my new house and explored the city with the mindset of it being “home” soon, which was awesome. I came home and about a week later, went with my family to Sedona, Arizona! Jordan couldn’t come because he was living in Idaho this summer but the four of us hiked around out there and got to spend a day at the Grand Canyon, which was AMAZING.

August: There were a lot of fun little things in August, like Taylor Greig’s graduation party and Danielle’s baby shower. I got to go out to Colorado with the Hill’s and Megan for a few days, and that was a blast! They have a house on Grand Lake and we all had so much fun jet skiing, laying out, and eating ice cream :) I also got to spend a few days down in Azusa when everyone was moving back in. This was the first time I had been with a large group of South Africa family since we left, and it was wonderful. I had a blast getting to hang out with them all again and just loved every second of my time there.

September: I kicked this month off by taking Lauren Klapp to a surprise birthday concert: Tyrone Wells. We both love him and it was a great last hurrah before I moved. I spent the next week packing and then on the 16^th, loaded up the car and headed up to Seattle with my parents! It was fun to road trip with them, and I was giddy once we caught a glimpse of downtown. I moved all my stuff in, got to know roommates, started classes, and adjusted to life in a new city. One day, Katie and I took a day trip out to Mt Rainier and ever since, I’ve had a blast exploring all these new, fun places.

October: It started out pretty good, with my best friend getting engaged!!!! I was a balling mess when we were Skyping with them…so excited! Katie got to come up and visit the very next weekend, where we got to see pictures, hang out, and go shopping for a wedding dress :) It was such a sweet time with her. It was also Katie Hill’s 21st birthday and we had fun celebrating as a house all together.

November: November began with a bang…Courtney Clayton came up to visit! She stayed with us for a few nights and we had a blast. We also got a fun surprise right before Thanksgiving: SNOW! With three days of school cancelled, we had all the time in the world to enjoy it. Thanksgiving came and since none of us were going home for the holiday, we made our own huge dinner and invited a few friends over. It was so wonderful and we had leftovers for days after :)

December: The first part of December was consumed with finals, but we made time in between for fun things, like making Christmas cookies! I flew home after finals ended and couldn’t believe I was entering into 80-degree weather. Oh California :) I made a quick trip down to Azusa for a few days to visit my family down there. It was wonderful, as always. I went to Mark and Gina’s wedding, which was so unreal…I remember when they started dating in 8^th grade! Then Christmas rolled around, which included Katie Hahn’s annual party and lots of family celebrations.

Whew! What a year. Now, off to a New Years Eve party to ring in 2011! Here's to another great year, full of the Lord's sweet blessings!

Last Christmas

Does anyone else feel like last Christmas was a REALLY long time ago??

Since I’ve been home, my family has decorated the house and the Christmas tree. We have been listening to Christmas music and eating lots of yummy Trader Joes special seasonal treats. I’ve finished my Christmas shopping and have wrapped almost all the presents. And as I do all of that, I can’t help but feel like the last time this all happened had to be at least 3 years ago.

I think it’s maybe because 2010 was such a huge year for me. Going to South Africa, living at home and then moving to Seattle…it was a lot of big changes. Three very unique and distinct phases of my life, all within just one year. It feels like too much has happened since last Christmas for only a year to have passed.

I have grown a lot. And I think that’s the beauty of markers like this…to be able to look back on this moment exactly a year ago, and see growth. To see how you’ve changed and become different, but also to see what sweet blessings are still the same. I feel so blessed to have both this year.

Wow. 2010 was crazy! Haha. I’m just sitting here thinking about it…SO much happened. I’m feeling an urge to create a “year in review” blog.

Stay tuned… :)

Pray for Samuel

I have been struck lately by the reality of disease in this world, particularly in children. In the past few years, I have heard far too many stories of childhood cancer, babies being born premature or not even having the chance to fight. Babies who only know life inside the womb.

I just read this story about a sweet boy named Samuel. Please read it and pray. It moved me to tears, just feeling the desperation in the words of this father.

It makes me wonder. Why is this so common? The spiritual warfare in this world is sometimes too overbearing. But God is always sovereign. He is always good. No matter what. And He calls us to pray. Let's fall on our knees for all these children and battle with the best weapon we have.

Finals Week

Conklin' house has gone crazy.

Here are the sure signs that finals week has officially caused us all to lose it:

1. People, both upstairs and downstairs, screaming quotes from the "greatest freak out" videos...with the same intensity as Steven

2. Blair ordering pizza for dinner

3. Buying ice cream, and within 3 hours, it's halfway gone. Along with an entire plate of brownies

4. Not being able to see the kitchen table. It's covered with laptops, papers, and about 7 cups half-full of water

Where I'm At

I got this idea from my friend’s blog, and she got the idea from about 3 other people. I guess it’s becoming a blogging theme. I liked the idea though. Stopping, taking inventory. Using minimal words. Eliminating the fluff of life and simplifying it down to the basics.

This is where I’m at right now:

I’m sitting in my kitchen in Seattle, watching Katie Hill create another masterpiece of a meal. Tonight’s chili is sure to be a wonderful contrast to the 40 degree weather outside.

Joe Purdy is playing in the background. I’ve been enjoying a lot of mellow music lately. I feel like life is so busy and somehow, playing calm music just slows everything down.

The sun came out for a bit yesterday, and it wasn’t until I could feel it on my back that I realized how much I miss it.

I am 9 days from completing my first quarter as an SPU student. That flew by.

Lately, I’ve been learning a lot about how difficult it is to be loving and gracious, but also how necessary it is.

I have a headache right now, which is just making me less motivated to do homework. Praying for more snow days. Maybe just until finals are over? :)

I’m excited to go to Reality over Christmas break. I feel like I encounter the Lord in amazing ways when I’m there, and it just seems like this is how church is to be done.

I’ve been more and more thankful for my friends lately. Those precious people in your life who just completely understand you and love you for who you are…I’m realizing not everyone has that, and I’m thankful that God has been so gracious to provide those relationships in my life.

Enthusiasm for the King

"As we seek to find out why, with such millions of Christians, the real army of God that is fighting with hosts of darkness is so small, the only answer is---lack of heart. The enthusiasm of the kingdom is missing. And that is because there is so little enthusiasm for the King."

-Andrew Murray

A Thankful Heart

It’s Thanksgiving time again! Although, as Megan says, Mother Nature seems to have boycotted it and gone straight to Christmas because it is a winter wonderland outside!! We got so much snow this week, resulting in 3 snow days! J Being my first snow days ever, it’s been incredibly fun. And (minus the one class I went to on Monday) I don’t have class all week so it’s basically a vacation here.

It’s fun living somewhere that snows. Of course I’ve seen snow before, but it’s always been on vacation or winter camp. This is my first time being in a city when it snows. And it’s the first time that the things I see every day, all the places I go and all the houses on my street are just covered in snow. My daily routine was suddenly planted at the North Pole. I don’t know…it’s hard to explain but it’s a very new and exciting experience J

Alright, enough about the snow! Back to Thanksgiving.

I just re-read my Thanksgiving blog from last year and it’s so interesting how things change. I’m still thankful for all those things I wrote down, but reading it again, the thing that I’ve found myself most thankful for this year is how much I’ve grown since last year. So many amazing things happened in the last 12 months that have caused so much sweet change in my life. Change I never would have expected, but that has been such a blessing.

This year, I’m thankful for family and friends. I’m thankful for the gifts God has given me. I’m thankful to be in Seattle. But most of all, I am just so thankful for the ways I’ve met the Lord this year. I think about how many things He’s taught me and I can’t believe it’s only been a year. He has enlightened the eyes of my heart, given me more of the Holy Spirit, and taught me about His faithfulness. There has been a relentless pursuit to love me and grow me into the woman He wants me to be. I’m learning more about who that woman really is and how that will affect the plans He has for me. It’s incredibly exciting. And I’m thankful for all those things. I’m thankful that He has chosen to open my eyes and soften my heart towards Him. It’s been a beautiful experience.

Far too often, I’m incredibly selfish and focused on all the things I don’t have. All the things that I’ve convinced myself I “need” but when I really think about it, I am blessed beyond anything I could have asked for. During this wonderful Thanksgiving week, let’s focus on all the blessing He’s given to us. That anything we have to be thankful for, we only have because He chose to bless us with it.

Sunday nights

Normally, Sunday nights are a bummer. I would say this goes across the board for most people, kids and adults alike. Because with Monday morning comes school or work and 5 long days you have to get through before you can sleep in again. However, this particular Sunday night, I feel so excited for the coming week. Here's why...

Monday: my Global and Urban Ministry class, which I enjoy. And then in my history class, we're watching a movie. Easy peasy.

Tuesday: Argumentation class, but I did my final debate last week so all I have to do is sit and watch other people do it. And breath multiple sighs of relief that I'm done.

Wednesday: All my classes are cancelled :) LAZY DAY! So I can do anything. I'll probably sleep in, maybe read a little Redeeming Love (which I started again tonight, very intentionally because I knew I would get sucked in and this week, I actually have time to get sucked in). Wednesday night, the roomies are going to a Thanksgiving service at church, which I think will be great. Spending the evening praising God for all his blessings. Sounds so sweet :)

Thursday: THANKSGIVING!!! Do I really need to say more? Katie and I bought groceries yesterday, and ever since, I have just been craving Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, yams...oh man. I can't wait. I can't wait.

Friday: Recoup after an insane amount of food, maybe do a little Black Friday shopping? Not sure. Friday also marks the day that I'm allowed to decorate the house for Christmas!!! I can put out the Christmas lights, play Christmas music...it's going to be fantastic. And I get to spend Friday night with Hilary, Melissa, and Angie, three dear friends from South Africa!!! I absolutely cannot wait to see these girls. Being with anyone from SA feels like family, and I am just so excited to hang out and talk with them. Soooo so so excited :)

Saturday: Katie and I want to venture somewhere to find snow!!!! You can see the mountains from our house, and they are just covered in it! It's too tempting to ignore, so hopefully we'll find somewhere good!

See what I mean? With a week like that, Sunday nights aren't that bad...

"Forgotten God"

“When the Holy Spirit moves, God is the one praised. Jesus is the one lifted up. When the Spirit moved at Pentecost, people knew there was a power present that came from God. That’s why they didn’t leave saying, “John is amazing! He learned a new language in a matter of seconds!” They knew it had to be God. Let’s pray that God would empower us so radically that we would get no glory. That people would see our works and glorify God.”

______________________

“It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But it’s absolutely vital to grasp that He didn’t call you there so you could settle in and live out your life in comfort and superficial peace. His purposes are not random or arbitrary. If you are still alive on this planet, it’s because He has something for you to do.”

______________________

“God wants us to be clear on what we are getting into. He wants us to know that His gift of the Holy Spirit is really not for our own pleasure or purposes. The Spirit is meant to lead us toward holiness. The Spirit is here with us to accomplish God’s purposes, not ours.”

New Things with Dust

"Dust we are,

and to dust we shall return.

But God can do new things with dust." -N.T. Wright

...You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of dust.

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us...

Wow.

...God is so good.

Things I Love About November

Okay, the title is a bit deceiving...this blog is actually more about Fall in general, but I missed that memo over a month ago. So I'm replacing "Fall" with "November" and calling it a victory.

I think Fall is one of the most distinct seasons. Well, maybe not in Southern California :) but up here, there is a definite change. New color schemes, new foods, new clothing (layers!!)...so many fun things. I felt so inspired by this wonderful season that I decided to make a blog dedicated to some of the reasons I love it.

...Alright, let's be real...I'm also procrastinating on some homework. But I feel inspired nonetheless :)

Here we go. Things I love about November/Fall:

1. Thanksgiving! Such a fun holiday with such good food

2. my Mama's birthday on the 13th!

3. Drinking hot chocolate because it's actually cold outside, not just because it's so good

4. Scarves

5. All the yummy soups Katie is making...I'm falling in love with butternut squash

6. cozy blankets

7. Now that I live in Seattle, the pretty fall leaves

8. red, orange, yellow, brown, and green

9. And of course...November means only one more month until Christmas time :)

It's here

The Seattle weather is officially here. The past month has been filled with sunshine and warm weather, but this weekend it all changed! Today, the high is 46 degrees, with lots of rain :) Even though my Southern California body is feeling a bit shocked, it's also fun because it feels like stereotypical Seattle. Welcome to it!

Happy Birthday Katie!

Yesterday was such a fun day! It was Katie Hill's 21st birthday and we had a wonderful time celebrating. The festivities included:

-brunch at Julia's in Wallingford...delicious omelette and blueberry/chocolate chip pancakes

-a trip to the Fremont Market and Theo Chocolate, just to get some free samples :)

-going to Macrina for a birthday latte

-trip to Metropolitan Market so Katie could buy a bottle of wine...she was sure to inform the cashier that it was her 21st birthday, and proudly handed over her I.D.

-church at Bethany

-dinner at Conkling. We had some friends over and made cheese and chocolate fondue, and had all sorts of fun things to dip in them! Bread, broccoli, pretzels, apples, strawberries...delicious.

It was such a wonderful night, and so fun celebrate such a precious person in my life. Katie has been such a great friend to me for years and it's exciting to be in this new phase of life together. Roommates! :) Love you Katie! 21!!!!!!

We're All In This Together

My friend Josh just posted this on his blog and it really resonated with me. So many things in our world aren't fair. I think everyone would agree that. But so many of us do nothing. We aren't moved to action. And that's not fair to the slave, the orphan, and the poor.

What is the Point?

“I am so happy to be here! This is something I have been dreaming about for 5 years and now it’s actually happening! I have been praying about this for so long, and I just feel so confident that this is where God wants me to be right now.”

I have said those three sentences more times than I can count in the last month. People ask how I like it up here, if I’m adjusting okay, if I get homesick at all or if I still feel like it was the right decision. All of those statements are true. I do absolutely love it here. It’s completely surreal that this dream is coming true. I do feel confident that this is exactly where God wants me.

But then tonight, I hit this rut. I realized that I keep saying this is where God has me…but what am I doing with that? I have been so consumed with excitement about finally being here, that I have forgotten to pursue why the Lord wants me here. What relationships does He have waiting for me? What ways does He want to grow me through this newfound independence? How will I need to pursue Him more in order to fulfill the plans He has?

I want to be where the Lord has planned for me, but I also want to do what He has planned for me in that place. I don’t want to just rest in the fact that I’m finally here, and then do nothing differently. What is the purpose of me being here? What does God have in store for me in Seattle that couldn’t be accomplished in Azusa or Ventura?

What is the point of all this?

I hate to admit that this the first time I’ve really thought about any of this since moving here.

Hopefully now that the Lord has opened my eyes to it, He’ll continue to shape my heart. When this season is over in two years, I hope to look back and know that I pursued Christ and His plan for me with every ounce of myself. That my main goal wasn’t getting good grades or making a lot of friends, but truly embracing this unique time of growth and opportunity that He has provided.

The Wonderful Cross

I wrote this after church on Sunday:

I was floored by the message of the cross tonight.

To be painfully honest, this doesn’t happen often. At least, not as often as it should. Growing up in the church has created an immunity to the majesty of that selfless act, but tonight, it amazed me.

The pastor was talking about taking steps toward Christ, and how He wants disciples & followers, not just admirers. I want to be a disciple so badly. I feel like this past year has been a huge pursuit of that discipleship and the desire for it just seems to intensify every day.

We took communion afterwards and I was praising the Lord for His mercy. For His amazing love that would suffer on the cross in my place. And it just hit me: He was broken for my sin, punished for a crime He didn’t commit. He was mocked, ridiculed, rejected and abused.

Because. Of. Me.

Because of my sin and stubbornness. Because I too often choose to be only an admirer instead of a committed follower.

I once heard a pastor say, “Whenever you are hurt as a result of someone else’s sin, think of Christ.” He was hurt physically and emotionally because of us. Yet He willingly did it. Tonight, I started to think of the most painful things in my life (which still don’t equate to the cross, or even come close, but it’s all I’ve got) and wondering if I would willingly endure it again, fully knowing how painful it was, in order to save someone else. Ah. It’s a brutal question when you honestly try to answer it. Praise Jesus, He is making me into a more selfless person but that process is nowhere near complete and the selfish facet of my heart still seems to dominate most of my decisions.

The truth is, I’m a mess. And the only reason I can even have a shot at becoming a holy, committed disciple is because of the cross.

I was floored.

We ended the service singing “Oh the Wonderful Cross” and the words completely resonated with my heart. Resonated with the deep thankfulness and awe I felt tonight.

“Were the whole realm of nature mine

That were an offering far too small

Love so amazing, so divine

Demands my soul my life, my all

Oh the wonderful cross, oh the wonderful cross

Bids me come and die and find

That I may truly live.”

First week done!

Well, my first week as a Falcon is over. It flew by! Here is what my week consisted of:

-walks around Green Lake

-a quick visit to Molly Moons :)

-runs to Gas Works, and then taking a break to just sit and enjoy how beautiful it is

-impulsive day trip to Mount Rainier with Katie. It was GORGEOUS

-introduction to “group” which is a worship night on campus

-more laughs with the roommates

-hung out at the Fremont Market, and stumbled upon Oktoberfest nearby…oh, Fremont.

-skyping with Lauren Klapp and Katie Hahn

Oh yeah, and class :) My classes this quarter seem like they will be really good! My favorite is my Intro to Global and Urban Ministry class. We’ve already had some really interesting discussions, and I even got a jump start on the reading (which I never do) because it was just so exciting to me. My Argumentation class (aka: debate) is one I was actually pretty nervous about. I mean, let’s be honest…I am not argumentative. But the teacher is amazing and is making it so I actually kind of enjoy it, which is great! Then I have a history class that is rather boring, but I have it with Katie and our teacher is the sweetest lady ever. So it’s shaping up to be a good quarter!

I’ve also been on the job hunt for about a month, and this is the week of answered prayers! I sent out an email about babysitting to a few families on the street, and they all forwarded it to a bunch of other people and I’ve gotten about 5 families ask to babysit for them! Most of them are just casual, once-in-awhile kind of jobs, but one family needs me weekly, so praise God for that!!! I also had an interview today for a job on campus so fingers crossed! :)

I had another “I can’t believe I actually live here” moment on Tuesday. I went on a run to Gas Works and was sitting on the lawn, just admiring the view, and I thought, “This is home now.” In the past year, I’ve had a lot of homes: Azusa, Ventura, South Africa, Ventura again, and now here I am. Home.

I still love it up here, in case there was any question in your mind. I’m sure eventually the honeymoon phase of it all will fade away and I’ll learn to blog about things besides Seattle and how happy I am to be here. But seeing as how the leaves are starting to change and I’m mildly obsessed with fall leaves, this phase probably won’t end any time soon ;)

With love from Seattle.

Mangos

This week, mangos were on sale at Costco and the ladies of Conkling went crazy for them. We bought a whole box-full and have eaten them with almost every meal. The first night we ate them, I said "Wow, this reminds me of South Africa!" To which Blair responded, "It reminds me of India" and then Katie said Indonesia and Megan brought up the rear with Sierra Leone. Oh, how wonderful it is to have a houseful of girls who love to travel :) The mangos are divine though. Only one left.

Hopefully they'll go on sale again soon.

An Official Seattlite

Well, I’m an official Seattlite. First piece of evidence is the red North Face jacket that was purchased today and is now hanging in my closet. Also, my current address includes a zip code of 98119.

I live in Seattle now, and love it.

Granted I’ve only been here about five days, and real life hasn’t even begun, but there is just so much joy in my heart right now. I pulled up to my new house on Friday and ever since, it’s been a whirlwind of meeting roommates, unpacking everything, trying to get organized, making constant trips to Fred Meyer, and re-visiting all my favorite Seattle places. It’s been so much fun.

I’m living with four other girls, and I’ve known Katie and Megan for years, but just met Krista and Blair…already love them both. :) They are just so sweet & fun, and hilarious. Every “family dinner” we’ve had so far, we are always just dying laughing. It’s wonderful.

That word could sum up my entire experience so far: wonderful. Everything about it is so sweet. My first night here, I was laying in bed thinking about the fact that I’m actually here, and got tears in my eyes. This has been something I’ve wanted for about five years now, and it’s actually happening. It’s rather surreal. I just feel so blessed to be here. It’s exactly what I needed and exactly where the Lord wants me right now.

I was thinking yesterday about how I wanted to come here two years ago, but truthfully, I’m glad that I didn’t. Even though the past few years have been filled with challenges and changes I would have never expected, it’s still a sweet memory because God used all that to bring me to this moment. And if I had come up here sooner, I don’t think it would have been as sweet. It’s such perfect timing, and I keep finding myself just praising the Lord that He has plans for our lives, and such rich plans.

As fun as it is just hanging out, I’m pretty excited for classes to start. Because I’ve visited Seattle 3 times before, that’s what this feels like: a visit. Like I’m on vacation and eventually going back to Ventura. So I think it will be nice to find a job (fingers crossed) and start classes, to have a routine and a normal life up here.

Needless to say, I’m in love with this city and so thankful to be here. As you all can probably tell. If Seattle ever needed a spokesperson to boost their resume and convince people to move here, I’m their girl.

But I’m happy. I’m extremely happy and just feel like my cup is overflowing right now. It’s a sweet place to be :)

The Big Move

Today is my last day in Ventura before I leave. It's strange that it's actually happening. When I got home from South Africa in May, it seemed like this day would never come. It just seemed SO far away. But here it is. It's all happening.

I went to the beach this morning, to enjoy Surfer's Point one more time before the big move (yes, I am pathetically nostalgic like that...I'll only be gone 3 months). I kept having flashbacks to the day before I left for South Africa...a lot of the same feelings. Excited beyond belief, fully confident this is where the Lord is leading me, but also thinking about all the unknowns: What will it be like? Who will I meet? Will it be as wonderful as I've hyped it up to be in my head? Who will I be when this experience is over? How will this season grow me and shape me?

The one thing that is just so sweet for me is being able to see growth in myself. Yes, I had all these questions before South Africa but tied to the end of them was this huge string of fear. In the last 9 months, I have learned so much about God's faithfulness. He is so good. So, even though there are a lot of unknowns, I believe God is faithful and the ultimate provider. I am never alone and He has the sweetest plans for me. Moving to Seattle is part of that plan and I just can't wait to see what He has in store.

Above all, I want this experience to grow me closer to Jesus. When I go up there, I don't want to forget or ignore all the amazing things He did in my life this past year. I don't want to fall back into routine or religion, but I want my faith to be more alive than ever. I want my life and my time up there to be marked by the Spirit and to reflect Jesus. I want to grow closer to Him and know Him in new ways. God ordained this path for me before I was even born and I want to fulfill every plan He has for me up there. I don't want to waste any days or opportunities. I want to take hold of everything He has in store.

Seattle, here I come! It's gonna be a great ride :)

Chloe and Kian

Yesterday was my last day nannying Chloe and Kian. It's kinda strange to think about, because I saw them 5 days a week for the past 4 1/2 months. It's just normal for them be part of my life. But to celebrate, I thought I'd share one last "Kids Say the Darndest Things"

1. I was inside making them lunch when I heard them screaming and laughing outside...I went to see what was happening, and they had the hose on and were spraying it into the sandbox. Chloe is soaked and Kian is sitting in the wet sand, both of them fully clothed. I asked what they were doing and Chloe said, "Alex! We're playing beach! Want to sit in the sand?" Points for creativity.

2. Kian was playing with these rubber band type toys....hard to explain...but he lost one of them and was getting upset. Chloe stepped in to help and said, "That's okay. He has lots of rubbers." :)

3. Me: "Do you need a Kleenex? Do you have boogers in your nose?"

Kian: "I did but I took them out cause I didn't need them anymore."

4. Kian was playing on their backyard jungle gym and when he was climbing up this wall, I went over to help and he said, "No, don't help me. Boys don't need help. Boys can do anything they want."

5. Chloe: "Does God hear us?"

Me: "Yes, He does. He hears everything you say."

Chloe: "But how? He's all the way up in heaven...(then answering her own question)...I guess he just has really good ears."

Hope

Exactly 3 weeks from today, I will be starting classes at SPU. I leave in 10 days to drive up there with my parents. After such a long summer, it seems almost surreal that it’s happening soon.

I’ve had a lot of people lately ask me if I’m getting nervous. And the thing is, I’m not at all. For such a long time, moving to Seattle has been so far off. It’s been almost five months of summer, just waiting for this day to come. And I thought, as it got closer, I would start to get nervous. But I’m really not.

I’m excited for this new season in my life. This summer has been a hard one. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been good things: I’ve had an amazing job with kids that I just love, I’ve had such sweet growth in the Lord and gotten to go to Reality consistently, which has been a huge blessing. But coming home from South Africa was difficult. There were so many things to deal with this summer that I honestly just felt inadequate to handle. There were many days that I felt overwhelmed and, as a result, shut down so I wouldn’t have to deal with it all.

But I absolutely cannot wait for this fresh start in my life. That’s how it feels. Going to a new school, living outside of California for the first time in my life, meeting all new people…it’s a brand new season. I feel a deep sense of hope. And I believe that hope is from the Lord. In July, I went up there to visit, and while I was there, I wrote this in my journal:

“I just feel so full of promise and hope here, which is such a blessing from you, Lord. For the past year, my life has felt so chaotic. And I’m thankful for that because it has brought me closer to you. I have gotten to know you in new ways that have changed my life and perspective. Thank you for that, Jesus. But it has been difficult, feeling like so many of my plans and dreams died. Which is another thing you’ve been teaching me…about putting my dreams in things of this world…but I really believe that the hope I feel here is from you. Because me being in Seattle is part of your plan, part of the plans you have to prosper me and give me a hope. Thank you Lord. Praise you for having plans and letting me feel something as sweet as hope.”

10 more days. And I’m hopeful for the sweet blessings God will give me when I’m up there.

Happy Birthday, Dad

It's Mike Gennaro's birthday today...the big 48. When I saw him this morning, I said happy birthday and he responded, "Ole!" :) What a guy.

All he wanted for his birthday was to watch the UCLA game today and BBQ for dinner, which is currently what we're all doing. So hopefully they beat Kansas State!!!

UCLA! Fight! Fight! Fight!

And happy birthday, Daddy :) I love you