30 Day Challenge: Day 13

Day 13: A letter to someone who has blessed you recently

The sweet thing about this is that I feel like there is absolutely no way I could pick just one person. There have been so many people who have blessed me recently. People who have taught me different things; people who have listened to me process my thoughts; people who have encouraged me. I have been blessed by people’s patience, grace, wisdom, and understanding. I feel so humbled that God would choose to bless me with such amazing people in my life. Every single person has taught me something new about myself or about life, helped me see the world differently, or opened my eyes to something new about the Lord.

To everyone who has offered me a listening ear and wisdom, a lot of laughter and good memories, or helped me become a more godly woman,

you are a blessing.

just some things.

These are quotes from today's "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. They were just sooo good, I HAD to share them.

"Love is the loftiest preference of one person for another, and spiritually Jesus demands that this sovereign preference be for Himself."

"And the Holy Spirit reveals to me that God loved me not because I was lovable, but because it was His nature to do so."

"The knowledge that God has loved me beyond all limits will compel me to go into the world to love others in the same way. I may get irritated because I have to live with an unusually difficult person. But just think how disagreeable I have been with God! Am I prepared to be identified so closely with the Lord Jesus that His life and His sweetness will be continually poured out through Me? Neither natural love nor God's divine love will remain and grow in me unless it is nurtured."

And this is a new song that I currently LOVE.

30 Day Challenge: Day 12

Day 12: How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

I found out about blogging through some friends who had them. I always loved reading their updates and seeing what was on their hearts...I suppose that's why I made one. I had a couple people tell me I should, and it just sounded fun. That's pretty much it. Haha. In the beginning, there was not a deeper purpose other than enjoyment. Which I think is okay :)

It's become something really sweet though. I feel like it has given me more confidence in being vulnerable. Somehow, it seems easier to be honest on the world wide web--when you don't actually know who's reading it--than to have a personal conversation and be vulnerable. This blog has helped though. People love vulnerability. There's something so powerful in it. We are taught to have everything together, but that is so off-putting. It's intimidating to everyone else. Vulnerability is the best way to bring people together. To acknowledge that we're all completely messed up and need a Savior. It's freeing. I think one of Satan's most devastating lies is telling us that you are the only one going through something, or you're the only one struggling with that sin. It creates isolation and embarrassment. But being honest about our flaws...that is the most freeing thing for the person confessing and those around them. It brings unity.

Woah. Haha. I don't know how I got to this point. But I think that is what blogging has taught me. It's taught me the beauty of vulnerability.

Wisdom for today

The upside down kingdom of God:

"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,

And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles"

-Provers 24:17

Worthy to be Sought

A few months ago, I was at church and the pastor said something I’ll never forget. He was talking about suffering and trials, and how often we pray for God to give a clear answer. To somehow release us from this bondage of uncertainty and have “yes” or “no” answer written in the sky.

I do this all the time. And not to say that in itself is inherently wrong. I think it is so sweet to pursue the Lord for wisdom and really seek His plan for your life. But the pastor said something that just changed my perspective on everything.

He said this: “Sometimes, Jesus doesn’t come with an answer; He comes with Himself. And the help He brings is the help I need.”

Woah. I was tripping out on that for a long time afterwards. I still am.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus lately, and feeling convicted about how often I pursue Him for selfish gain. To get an answer to a question I have or to feel peace about a situation. To feel fulfillment or love or acceptance. And again, those things aren’t bad to desire. The Lord is so good to us that He offers those things freely and so passionately wants us to have those things.

But I’ve been convicted that that’s not what it is about. It’s not about me gaining something or feeling better about myself. It’s about Jesus. Everything is always about Jesus.

This has radically shaped the way I pray and the way I love the Lord. Instead of praying for selfish gain, I am praying for more of Him. Instead of praying for Him to come with an answer, I’m simply asking for more of His Spirit, as I’m beginning to understand that more of Jesus will shape me more into His likeness, therefore giving me more wisdom to make that decision. This whole radical form of prayer has been so fulfilling. Which is interesting, because it seems like it would be the opposite. But isn’t that just like Jesus? To have everything be upside-down to what we’d expect? By surrendering my own desires, and just praising God for who He is, I have found so much joy and peace.

What if we pursued the Lord simply because He was worthy to be sought? Not out of selfish ambition, but because He deserves to praised. What if we pursued Him because He is so faithful to come with Himself?

The Lord is so sweet. He longs to give us peace and wants us to feel His love. But I think, far too often, we are so egotistical in that. Jesus is reminding me that it is all about Him. That my pursuit of Him should not be for my own life to run a little bit smoother, but to know Him better. To know Him in a deeper way, because He is worthy of that.

He comes with Himself. He doesn’t always give us a clear answer, but He gives us His Spirit. And the degree to which this sounds like a lame promise is the degree to which we prefer the stones of this world to the true bread from heaven (Matthew 7:9-11). Jesus is worthy to be sought, simply because of who He is. Let us seek after Him with all we have, and be transformed in the process.

30 Day Challenge: Day 11

Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends

I figured I would go old school for this one. Prom 07!! Haha

30 Day Challenge: Day 10

Day 10: Songs that you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, mad

I've been thinking a lot about this one (much more than I should for a silly blog challenge) but I can't pick just one song for all those emotions. So instead, I'll just share the music that I've been loving recently.

Ryan Adams "Come Pick Me Up"

Florence and the Machine "Dog Days are Over"

Ingrid Michaelson "You and I"

Wakey Wakey "Dance So Good"

Hillsong United "Soon"

Phil Wickham "Heaven Song"

30 Day Challenge: Day 9

Day 9: Something you're proud of in the last few days

Well, this isn’t really something I’m proud of, but something I’m excited that I had the opportunity to do.

Last week, I got to go visit World Vision’s headquarters near Seattle and speak with a woman who works there about her job. She does all different kinds of writing for World Vision, and I got to tour the headquarters and just ask her TONS of questions about her work. It was a really awesome opportunity, and encouraged me that people actually can make a living off writing J

30 Day Challenge: Day 8

Day 8: Short term goals for this month

-Focus my heart for Easter. Take a break from life’s craziness to remember the Cross

-Find motivation to write this Fiction paper

-Finish at least one of the five books I am currently in the middle of

-Go on more walks, now that it’s getting a little warmer

30 Day Challenge: Day 7

Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has had a big impact on you

30 Day Challenge: Day 6

Day 6: What has God been teaching you lately?

This is from my journal a few days ago...

“John answered them all, ‘I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.” –Luke 3:16

I love this. I love the humility in it and how well John understands your power. Not even worthy to untie your sandals. Help me to have this same humility, Lord. Praise you that you are powerful even beyond our comprehension. Your ways are so much higher than mine and I don’t even get it. Yet somehow, you allow me to be so close. I am not worthy to tie your sandals, yet your mercy extends way beyond that. I am not worthy of your love, forgiveness, patience, grace…I have done absolutely nothing to deserve your love, but you offer it to me freely. You open the floodgates of heaven and give abundantly.

How great is our God. How great is my God, that He would be so gracious to me. How great is my God, that He would be mindful of His servant. How great is our God, that He would rise to meet me. How great is our God, that He would count my sinful soul as free. That He would look on Christ and, in His justice, pardon me. Who am I, Lord, that you would be so good to me?

30 Day Challenge: Day 5

Day 5: A picture of somewhere you have been to

Mexico :)

30 Day Challenge: Day 4

Day 4: A habit that you wish you didn't have

A silly habit I have that drives me crazy is that I fidget with my promise ring. I’ll take it on and off and just sort of…I don’t know…play with it, I guess. Haha. I do it when I’m bored, when I’m nervous, when I’m worried about something. I wish I didn’t have this habit though because it’s resulted in a few scary moments where I thought I lost my ring. One time, I lost it in the back of a friend’s car and so now we always joke about how I lost my promise ring in the backseat of a car… J Tacky.

On a more serious note, I have this habit of becoming reclusive when I’m dealing with something. I won’t talk about it, thinking that my emotions are somehow overwhelming or just simply annoying to those listening. I never want to be a burden. It’s been crippling for me though because it has prevented a lot of necessary verbal processing. The Lord has blessed me with a lot of sweet friends who have helped me begin the process of kicking this habit. I’ve grown, but these things take time J

30 Day Challenge: Day 3

Day 3: A picture of you and your friends

Let's be real...there is no way I could only pick one picture. So, here are some of the precious people in my life! I love you all!

30 Day Challenge: Day 2

Day 2: What gifts has God given you?

Hmm. This question is coming at an interesting time.

One of the big things I’m learning right now is just how inadequate I am on my own. That any good thing in me is because of Christ. So all of these gifts are completely by His grace, that He would trust me with these things and trust me to use them for His glory.

That being said, it seems like most of the things He has blessed me with are relational. Awhile back, I had someone tell me I had the gift of exhortation. Now, I had no idea what that meant at the time J so I looked it up and it says “to come along side of someone with words of encouragement, comfort, consolation, and counsel to help them be all God wants them to be.” What a sweet gift.

I think He has also given me a compassionate and merciful heart for the nations. As far back as I can remember, I have been aware of and broken for the suffering in this world, and sensed a calling to show love to the unlovable. He has already used this in so many ways, and I’m excited to see how He continues to use it in the future!

30 Day Challenge: Day 1

Day 1: A recent photo of you and 10 interesting facts about yourself.

1. In the past year, I've lived in 3 different places: South Africa, Ventura, & Seattle

2. I am mildly obsessed with fun hair clips and headbands

3. Ever since I moved to Seattle, I have constantly had people tell me that I remind them of someone else.

4. I love Post-it notes. I have about 6 packs in my drawer right now

5. I'm a sucker for those inspirational sports movies. Examples: Remember the Titans, The Blind Side, Miracle, We Are Marshall

6. If there was one musical instrument I could learn, I would pick the violin

7. I haven't thrown up since I was seven-years-old. And I'm so thankful for this because I think it's absolutely disgusting.

8. I don't like coffee. Ironic because I live in Seattle.

9. I like quotes. Quotes from the Bible, movies, books, speeches...I don't know what it is, but I love 'em.

10. The top two places I want to visit right now: New Zealand and Brazil

30 Day Challenge

I always love finding fun "bloggy" things to do, and recently discovered this idea on a sweet friend's blog. It's called the 30 Day Challenge, and this is what it entails:

Day 1: A recent picture of you and 10 interesting facts about yourself

Day 2: What gifts has God given you?

Day 3: A picture of you and your friends

Day 4: A habit that you wish you didn't have

Day 5: A picture of somewhere you have been to

Day 6: What has God been teaching you lately?

Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has had a big impact on you

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

Day 9: Something you're proud of in the past few days

Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12: How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13: A letter to someone who has blessed you recently

Day 14: A picture of you and your family

Day 15: Put your iPod on shuffle. First 10 songs that play

Day 16: A picture of a favorite/recent memory

Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19: Nicknames you have; why do you have them?

Day 20: Hopes for the future

Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23: Something you crave often

Day 24: A letter to your parents

Day 25: What I would find in your purse

Day 26: What you think about your friends

Day 27: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

Day 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned?

Day 30: Your favorite song

Sounds like fun, right? The reality of me actually doing these 30 days in a row...highly unlikely. But it will be a fun adventure, no matter how long it takes. I'm off to class now, but maybe I'll get to do the first one tonight :)

Better than life

"Take a moment to examine your life today, because your life's circumstances could be very different tomorrow. Make sure Jesus is number one. Read your Bible. Remember the stories. Place your faith in our big God,

BECAUSE HE IS WORTHY.

He is the God that keeps track of our sorrows and stores up our tears in a bottle. He is more faithful than we will ever know, more wonderful than anything else in life, more desirable than anything this world has to offer. His loving kindness is better than life itself."

-Britt Merrick, Big God

GOSPEL

G.O.S.P.E.L. from Humble Beast Records on Vimeo.

love & friendship

Being home has been so sweet. It's only been 4 days, but as I was journaling about it, the words I kept writing were "love" and "friendship." I have so missed my sweet APU friends, and getting to spend time with them has blessed me so much!

I spent time at APU Thursday and Friday, and then Saturday was Katie Hahn's Bridal shower (obviously I cried...what's new). But for those three days, all I could think about was how much love there was. Seeing all those beautiful friends, laughing with them, having them ask such purposeful questions...it was wonderful. This morning, I found myself so thankful for their kind hearts and sweet spirits.

So, so blessed by these beautiful women, and by so many others as well.

Isaiah 30:18

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;

he rises to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of justice.

Blessed are all who wait for him."

-Isaiah 30:18

My journal this morning:

This verse overwhelms me. I am a lowly sinner. I have walked away, rejected you, cursed at you, been ashamed and embarrassed of you, put other idols before you...and yet, you long to be gracious to me. Not only that, but you rise to show me compassion. You come off your throne to come find me, to show me compassion for all my sin. Lord, help me understand the enormity of this. Even knowing I can't completely comprehend it, it overwhelms me. I am your servant. You are the King of the universe. And yet, you are the one who rises.

Thank you Jesus.

For God so loved the world

A year ago today was only my second day at Ethembeni. This was the day that I started to learn names, and the day that God answered prayers in the most obvious way. We prayed for an overhead projector and transparent maps to make a mural...and He fully delivered.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." -John 3:16

Take me back.

My Utmost for His Highest

"Many people today are pouring their lives out and working for Jesus Christ, but are not really walking with Him. One thing God constantly requires of us is a oneness with Jesus Christ. After being set apart through sanctification, we should discipline our lives spiritually to maintain this intimate oneness. When God gives you a clear determination of His will for you, all your striving to maintain that relationship by some particular method is completely unnecessary.

All that is required is to live a natural life of absolute dependance on Jesus Christ. Never try to live your life with God in any other way that His way. And His way means absolute devotion to Him. Showing no concern for the uncertainties that lie ahead is the secret of walking with Jesus."

amazing grace.

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin

Because the sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me.

"Breathe" Support Letter

My summer plans are set. There were so many options for this summer…Rwanda, Seattle, Forest Home…but I feel like the Lord completely changed my path to something that wasn’t really even on my radar. This summer, I am going to Breathe with the Hahn family. I sent out support letters a couple weeks ago, but I wanted to post it on this blog as well. If any of you feel called to support me financially, please let me know, but I more wanted to post it to ask for prayer. And I know it’s still four months away, but it’s never too early to start praying :) So, here is my letter, and here’s to a fantastic summer orchestrated by Jesus.

Dear Family and Friends,

Hello! I have been invited to serve on the volunteer staff at Breathe, a ten-day conference for missionaries and their families happening June 22-July 2, 2011. As some of you may know, I served at this conference in 2006 and 2007, and was blown away by the restoration God did in people’s lives in this short amount of time. I am so thrilled to be able to be on staff again this summer. The vision for this conference is to care for and encourage missionaries who serve in difficult places. Many of these people work in “closed access” countries where it is illegal to be a Christian or even talk about Christianity. This type of support for missionaries that Breathe provides is sorely lacking (or even non-existent in many regions) and, as a result, many missionaries face on-going and overwhelming stress, exhaustion, family problems, etc. This diminishes their effectiveness and often causes them to give up ministry all together. Breathe is a time for them to refresh their spirits and be served and poured into, instead of constantly pouring out.

This ten-day program will be held in Interlaken, Switzerland at a Christian conference center, which is central to missionaries coming from Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Middle East. Breathe uses a holistic approach that addresses the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of the missionaries through psychologists, doctors, therapists, and counselors.

I have been invited to do the preschool ministry. Essentially, my job will be taking care of the preschool-and-younger aged children while their parents attend the teaching sessions, get counseling, have doctors appointments, or just spend time together. My first year at Breathe, I babysat for a couple who went out on their first date since their kids were born—11 years. It is crucial for couples to get that alone time and I am honored to be able to provide that for them.

In order for me to take part in serving on this team, I need to raise $2,200 to cover my airfare and room & board. If you would like to make a donation to help me, checks can be made out to BFC/Catalyst Int’l and mailed to Bible Fellowship Church, Attn: Karen Narula, 6950 Ralston St. Ventura, CA 93003. Please do not write my name on the check in order to make your contribution tax-deductible. The other way that you can support me is through prayer! Pray for everyone on the team, that we can serve these missionaries as Jesus served. Pray that we can be selfless during these ten days and pour love into these beautiful people. Also pray for the missionaries and their growth and healing during the conference. Pray for God to restore their hearts and refresh their passion for the work they have been called to.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope this letter finds you well and resting in the joy of Christ.

With love,

Alex Gennaro

He comes with Himself

The past few weeks have been emotionally crazy. Heart stuff, processing the past, wondering about the future, nervous for unanswered questions....but I was reminded today of how good God is. He is our portion and our prize. He is our defender and our helper.

At church on Sunday, the pastor said something that touched my heart in a deep way. He said, "Often, God won't come with an answer. But He comes with Himself. The help He brings is the help I need."

Today, as I started to let the hands of worry grab at me, I was reminded that His presence is always with me. That even when things seem overwhelming and painful, they pale in comparison to His sweet presence and love.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." -Psalm 116:7

In Over Our Heads

When God calls, He doesn’t invite us to a picnic. He calls us to go to a stiff-necked, rebellious, stubborn people. Our success is not measure by fame; it is not measure by popularity contests; it is not measured by how many people raise their hands; it is not measured by how many souls were won today. God doesn’t call us to that kind of task. Rather, God calls us to faithfulness. “Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life” (Rev. 2:10). That’s the key—faithfulness to God’s call.

God calls us; He locks us in; but He never leaves us alone. He goes with us. He sustains us. That is the only assurance we have.

You know, if you think you’re going to sink, you panic. Ever since God first called me, I have lived on the verge of panic. I’ve always been in over my head. I’ve always been doing things I knew I couldn’t do. I’ve been like Peter walking on the water—always on the verge of sinking because he was doing something that took more power than he had. If he took his eyes off Jesus—off of God’s power—and looked at the storm, he would sink.

Obeying God’s call is like that. God never calls us to do something we can do in our own strength. He always calls us to get in over our heads—to move out to where we’ll have to either depend on His power or sink.

-John Perkins “With Justice For All”

still your love goes on

I know sometimes I lose my way

And then my heart gets so afraid

But I realize I must walk by faith and not by sight

Oh still your love goes on

The Floodgates of Heaven

"Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me.

"But you ask, 'How do we rob you?'

"In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse--the whole nation of you--because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

-Malachi 3: 8-10

Oh man. Even just re-typing that brings a smile to my face. What a sweet promise from the Lord!!! This passage happened to me this week. Pretty much word for word.

I (very hesitantly) tithed this past week, and had to practically force myself to drop it in the bucket because my mind was screaming "YOU NEED TO SAVE THAT!" But I did not want to rob God of what is His. So I dropped it in.

And let me tell you...I do not have room enough for the blessings He has provided. I can't give details without telling the whole story, which would take way too long...for me to type and for you to read :) But seriously, I tested the Lord in this and He threw open the floodgates of heaven and poured out a HUGE blessing. Beyond what I could have hoped for.

He is so faithful. Even in our fear, even when we doubt or don't want to do what He's calling us to, even in our weakest moment, He is a faithful God. Praise Him that our lives depend on His strength and faithfulness, and not our own.

Haiti

I stumbled across this tonight. I know it's long, but it is so powerful. Pray for these people. Pray for God to redeem their suffering and to do a great work in Haiti.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/world/americas/2010-haiti-shattered-year.html

"O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress." -Isaiah 33:2

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." -Isaiah 9:2

On my mind

South Africa on the mind.

But what’s new?

It has finally reached that point where I can look back and say “this time a year ago, I was…” and fill in the blank with something that happened in South Africa. It’s so strange. I know I just posted an entire blog about how strange it is, but I really can’t say it enough. It’s strange.

I went back tonight and read my journal from January 23, 2010. It was the day we toured Soweto and had lunch at this wonderful place where we first got to see Zulu dancing. I had only been there one day, and I was already noticing the deep joy of the people, the joy that went beyond material possessions and radiated through their very being. Oh Lord, what a sweet memory that is.

I also looked back at my journal entry from the night before I left Azusa and it was so encouraging to read. I asked that the trip would teach me more about God and myself. That I would meet Him there and not miss out on any of the opportunities He had in store. That I would be changed. I couldn’t help but smile as I read it, because God was so faithful in answering those prayers. He answered them beyond anything I could have imagined.

I cannot express enough how amazing that trip was. I mean…obviously. It’s a year later and I still am blogging about it. ;)

I needed this. Praise the Lord.

Britt Merrick - The Joy of Gospel Thoughts and Peace from Reality on Vimeo.

yes

Switzerland, I'm coming your way. Can't wait to meet in June

South Africa on the map

Sometimes I catch myself just staring at South Africa on the map. As I stare, it’s as though a slideshow is playing in my head. Different pictures, different memories, all the people…they are all running through my mind at warp speed as I remember how much of my heart that country holds. Yet, I’m so far removed from it. There are days where staring at it on a map feels as close as I can get.

It’s been almost a year since I left for South Africa. Even as I typed that, I found myself shaking my head in disbelief. There’s no way it’s been a year. I have a friend who is about to do the South Africa semester. He leaves in a week and it’s been so strange talking to him about it. Telling him things to pack, and any other “helpful tips” I have…it feels like that was me just a few weeks ago. And, I’ll be honest, there is a part of me that is jealous whenever I talk to him. He is about the go on the greatest adventure of his life, and I’ve already done that. I know that I should just be thankful for the opportunity and the growth that I’ve experienced since…but I would be lying if I said there was no hint of jealousy.

One of my roommates just got back from studying abroad, and it’s been so interesting talking to her. Last night, we talked about how weird it is that the whole experience is over. As far back as I can remember—back in elementary school—I wanted to study abroad. It’s always been a dream of mine. And now, it’s happened. I’ve already done it. I’m not sure how to explain it but it is the strangest feeling.

I think about where I was a year ago. Nervous, unsure what the next five months would look like, yet filled with more excitement than I’ve ever known. And not having any idea that a year later, I would still be processing everything. It’s almost humorous how often I still think about it and how many facets of my life it still affects.

A year ago, I just had no idea…

I feel as though the next few months will be filled with a lot of reflection and a lot of “A year ago, I was…” I’m hopeful though that instead of that bringing about sadness and just wishing I were there, it will bring more processing, healing, and growth. Because, in a lot of ways, my South Africa experience isn’t over. As long as I’m still learning from it and it’s impacting my life, it’s still going on. South Africa is still alive in my heart. And although I long so badly to go back, I trust that God will provide that opportunity if He desires.

For now, I will rejoice that He opened that door in the first place. South Africa has shaped me more than any other experience in my life and I am so thankful for that.

World War 2

This might be one of the funniest things I've ever seen

Hope

"You are a sinner, a great, desperate sinner; now come, as the sinner that you are, to God who loves you. He wants you as you are; He does not want anything from you, a sacrifice, a work; He wants you alone. "My son, give me thine heart" (Proverbs 23:26). God has come to you to save the sinner. Be glad! This message is liberation through truth. You can hide nothing from God. The mask you wear before men will do you no good before Him. He wants to see you as you are; He wants to be gracious to you. You do not have to go on lying to yourself and your brothers, as if you were without sin; you can dare to be a sinner. Thank God for that."

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Micah 7:7-8

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,

I wait for God my Savior;

my God will heart me.

Do not gloat over me, my enemy!

Though I have fallen, I will rise.

Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."

Joel 2:12-14

"Even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart,

with fasting and weeping and mourning.

Rend your heart and not your garments.

Return to the Lord your God,

for he is gracious and compassionate,

slow to anger and abounding in love,

and he relents from sending calamity.

Who knows?

He may turn and have pity

and leave behind a blessing."