A few months ago, I was at church and the pastor said something I’ll never forget. He was talking about suffering and trials, and how often we pray for God to give a clear answer. To somehow release us from this bondage of uncertainty and have “yes” or “no” answer written in the sky.
I do this all the time. And not to say that in itself is inherently wrong. I think it is so sweet to pursue the Lord for wisdom and really seek His plan for your life. But the pastor said something that just changed my perspective on everything.
He said this: “Sometimes, Jesus doesn’t come with an answer; He comes with Himself. And the help He brings is the help I need.”
Woah. I was tripping out on that for a long time afterwards. I still am.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus lately, and feeling convicted about how often I pursue Him for selfish gain. To get an answer to a question I have or to feel peace about a situation. To feel fulfillment or love or acceptance. And again, those things aren’t bad to desire. The Lord is so good to us that He offers those things freely and so passionately wants us to have those things.
But I’ve been convicted that that’s not what it is about. It’s not about me gaining something or feeling better about myself. It’s about Jesus. Everything is always about Jesus.
This has radically shaped the way I pray and the way I love the Lord. Instead of praying for selfish gain, I am praying for more of Him. Instead of praying for Him to come with an answer, I’m simply asking for more of His Spirit, as I’m beginning to understand that more of Jesus will shape me more into His likeness, therefore giving me more wisdom to make that decision. This whole radical form of prayer has been so fulfilling. Which is interesting, because it seems like it would be the opposite. But isn’t that just like Jesus? To have everything be upside-down to what we’d expect? By surrendering my own desires, and just praising God for who He is, I have found so much joy and peace.
What if we pursued the Lord simply because He was worthy to be sought? Not out of selfish ambition, but because He deserves to praised. What if we pursued Him because He is so faithful to come with Himself?
The Lord is so sweet. He longs to give us peace and wants us to feel His love. But I think, far too often, we are so egotistical in that. Jesus is reminding me that it is all about Him. That my pursuit of Him should not be for my own life to run a little bit smoother, but to know Him better. To know Him in a deeper way, because He is worthy of that.
He comes with Himself. He doesn’t always give us a clear answer, but He gives us His Spirit. And the degree to which this sounds like a lame promise is the degree to which we prefer the stones of this world to the true bread from heaven (Matthew 7:9-11). Jesus is worthy to be sought, simply because of who He is. Let us seek after Him with all we have, and be transformed in the process.
